Testimony of a Skinhead for Christ>
Thursday, June 13, 2013
I give thanks to the Lord Jesus Christ for giving me the ability to serve Him and making me for once in life a good person. WOW! Has the Lord blessed me in so many ways!!
Fourteen months ago I came into the Maricopa County 4th Ave. Jail lost and confused. You see for the Iast thirteen years jail and/or prison was where I could be found. When I was young I grew up in the “normal”, low class, struggling home. My dad was a retired officer from the Marines and always working to keep our family afloat. Well I can definitely say that I was the black sheep. Shoot, I was straight terror anywhere went. Well I ran the streets and finally one day I really got lost. A lot of my friends were “Skinheads” and, well, I guess you could say I was easily led to believe that their way was the right way.
To become a “Skinhead" there were many steps you must make before you truly become a "Skin." First you had to read a lot of literature on Hitler, and how the white race is dying. A lot of propaganda on why the white race is better than every other race, and why we need to keep it pure. Shoot, being a kid, this stuff is something we will believe especially if we get to party, fight and are "loved'" I was determined to become a Skinhead, but not any ordinary “Skinhead”. I was going to be the greatest Skinhead to live. Whenever I was told to read something I did it and I did it as quick as I could. Once you're doing good and have completed your readiness you get to do what’s called “walking the line”. When you “walk the line” you basically have a large number of Skinheads and they face each other at an arm’s length away from each other and you must walk down this line while they punch and kick you. "Walking the line" is brutal but when you make it to the end, your in. To a "fresh-cut" that's the happiest day in your life because that’s officially the day you’re a "skinhead".
Little by little I was on my way to becoming the highest ranking Skin. If someone was in need of something I was there. If there was a fight and no one wanted to do, I was there. It didn't matter what it was cause I was going to shine. I can't begin to explain. I persecuted people because of their color, race, religion or even because they weren’t white. "Forgive me Lord." I was truly on my way to becoming forever dead and I didn't have a clue.
In 2004 I was nominated to become the head of one of Arizona’s largest and oldest Skinhead groups called WAR. WAR stands for “White Aryan Resistance, and WAR was big. The old man himself wanted me and I was really lost. WAR is in most states and cities across the nation and WAR didn’t play. I had fully made it and I truly believed I was a god. The fighting got worse, the persecutions got greater and I believed no-one could stop me.
When I got out of Federal Prison in 2008, I was WAR and all the Skins knew who I was. I was so lost I didn’t have a clue to how lost I was but within a year God had a plan. You see when people saw me going down the street they both turned and went the other way or I’m sure worried that I was going to do something stupid. My entire body is a shrine to Skinheads politics, patches, and beliefs. I am covered from head to toe with Neo-Nazi tattoos that to the Skinheads announce my level and to the normal society announce me as a misfit. I was so deep and lost in the “white power Skinhead ways” that no matter who tried to get me to see “the Light” I wasn’t interested. My family hated to be around me and were only worried as to how long it would be before I landed back in prison or jail. Well soon I was once again on my normal routine.
In 2009 my was born. I was so excited to have a son because now in my eyes I had someone I could teach my beliefs and who could keep my ways. Again though, like I said, God had a different plan. It is truly amazing at how God seems to be able to just put us in check and we don’t have a clue He is even doing it. I was again arrested and looking at heading back to prison. When I got to jail I was tired, hungry, and I was grumpy. Grumpy that being my nickname since I was a kid, was once again in his domain.
The first night I got into the Pod at Fourth Avenue Jail it was late and I just wanted to get in the bed and sleep. When they called lights out my celly, Kevin, asked me if I wanted to pray. What?!! I told him, “I am Arizona WAR Grumpy Home Boy and I don’t pray”. I rolled over and went to sleep.
The next day I called my family and my girlfriend only to find out that they were done with me and my lies. Oh-well!! Their loss! I still had my Skinhead brothers. But it’s funny, when you go to jail everyone the streets tries to ignore you. Well not Grumpy!! Boy was I wrong. Later that night at lights out my celly, Kevin, once again asked me, “Brother would you like to pray?” I jumped off the bed, got right in his face and said, “Yeah!” What?! It is truly amazing at how wonderful Jesus is at getting what He wants. Praise you Jesus!!!! That night me and Kevin prayed to our Lord and Savior and you can believe that I gave my life over to the Lord. I cried that night for the very first time in a very long time. I couldn’t believe that our Lord would ever want me. Shoot, I was the worse of the worse. I was Saul who persecuted God’s people and our Lord and Savior was turning me into Paul. It’s like Paul said in 2 Timothy 1:9, “He saved us and called us to be His own people, not because of what we had done, but because of His own purpose and grace. He gave us this grace by means of Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.”
For quite some time I had a real problem with showing people that I was now a Christian and servant of God. I mean I was Grumpy the highest ranking Skinhead for WAR in Arizona and what were these guys going to think. I mean I am in jail and Skinheads hate Christians. But what they really hate is ex-Skinheads who no longer are with their beliefs. Little by little God showed me what’s truly behind being one of His disciples and fearing only Him.
When I got arrested I thought I was in love with the girl pregnant with my son. About 3 or 4 months of being in jail and her coming to visit a few times I had found out that her and my best friend were going out. At first I was beyond angry and he had something coming. I wasn’t going to allow this to happen to Grumpy, but the test that God puts before us is always to strengthen us. One of my Spiritual Mentors sent me this book. The book happened to come while I was dealing with this situation. The book was called “The Bate of Satan”. So I’m in my cell reading this book and he gets to the point about forgiving and how we must forgive everyone no matter what they did to us. What?! I sat up, looked at my celly and said, “I have to forgive him too for getting with my girlfriend.” Are you serious?! Okay God, I will do whatever you asked. So I hit my knees and asked God to forgive me for being angry, thinking bad thoughts, and for whatever is going on between them. I even then called sometime later and asked him for forgiveness. I can’t tell you how much weight that lifted from my shoulders after that. Now I pray for him and her and also my son. GOD IS AWSOME!!
About six months ago I was in a Pod and one of my old Skinhead brothers was in that same Pod. I was lost at how I was going to tell him that I no longer roll with them but rather am now a child of Christ. I was really have a problem with this and I asked another one of my spiritual brothers who came to visit me how I would tell my old Skinhead brother that I am now with Christ. The Bible says in Roman 8:31, “If God is for us, who can be against us.” He told me that I don’t have to worry about telling this guy cause God will let him know by my actions, and as always God did just that, as God always does. 2 Timothy 1:7, “For the Spirit that God gives to us does not make us timid; instead His Spirit fills us with love, power, and self-control”.
How wonderful it is every day to wake up and know that we are loved. It doesn’t matter if you’re in jail, prison, the hospital, whatever you situation. Jesus Christ died on the cross for ALL of us and that in itself is a blessing. When I got arrested I lost the house, the cars, the girlfriend, “the material things” that I can live without and definitely can’t take to heaven. But I can’t live without Christ in my life and believe me He ALWAYS blesses us.
It’s been almost 15 months and I’m still in 4th Ave. Jail, but, man, what God has done for me. Most everyone knows me and they come to me for prayer or questions about our great god. Yeah, I know this ex-Skinhead, crazy tattooed guy, giving advice on what God does for us.
God has blessed me with the most caring, beautiful girlfriend who also loves the Lord and who also really loves me. He has blessed me with an ex-Skinhead Christian Brother who has come to be one of my best of friends, and he has blessed me with real, honest, divine, love. For as long as I can remember my most favorite word was hate because that’s what I was full of. It is really cool and very different to see two ex-Skinheads, holding hands in this prayer circle with tears in their eyes. I love that god has chose me to be one of His servants and instead of trying to get people to hate, God uses me to teach them how to love. Matthew 6:34, “So do not worry about tomorrow. It will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.”
I don’t know about tomorrow – what God has in store for me; that is, God willing, that tomorrow comes. But I do know that today I have a God Who died for me and Who loves me unconditionally. I have the most amazing girlfriend who has shown me love that I can’t tell you how much it makes me smile daily. I have Christian brothers who are the greatest friends and family, and I have love in my heart for everyone. What else could a guy want? I am sorry for the past I lived, but I will never again hurt anyone, judge anyone for their beliefs, look at anyone but with love for who God made them regardless the color of their skin and I will continue to pray and be thankful that God uses anyone even a Skinhead to love.